Tagged & Busy

I've been so busy this past week. It's been a good busy, though. I made the decision to not start a third blog about my diet and exercising, cuz that's just too many blogs! LOL Those topics are part of my best life, so they should go here.

This is a taste of what's been happening with me lately:

1. WORKOUT: I began my third week of walking Saturday night, and I am shocked to be able to say that I've walked every night for 16 days and I've walked the distance I was supposed to, to boot. I did have a few nights where I tried to talk myself out of it, but that was at first. The longer I have stuck to my guns, the more determined I become to keep on schedule with it.

Not that my schedule is not at all demanding to anyone but me, LOL. But I needed to start small, and so that makes it easier to do while I form my habit. The plan I have followed was to walk 1/8 mile every day the first week; 2/8 mile second week; 3/8 mile third week, and so on. Like I said, not at all demanding.

A lil background info here: the reason I'm using 1/8 miles is because that is the exact distance I can waslk before my right pelvic/back area begins hurting horridly. I have to let it subside on its own, and it takes an hour or longer. (One time, I ignored this limitation on a walk around the block and my muscles back there clenched up so bad and shook so bad that I literally could not move.) So, I have to break up my distance into eighths. I sure was glad to see that study in the news recently, reinforcing what I already knew about intermittent bouts of daily exercise-- that it's beneficial in its own right. I've linked a great summary of these findings, that explains how someone can "up" their fat-burning abilities by when they eat and exercise, and this could be especially helpful to low-carbers, because they eat a good amount of fats. Check it out, it's quite interesting. This is an earlier 2004 study that I've linked, but the recent findings only confirm this study and it's explained very well in this piece.

I did break my dollar diet and order a pedometer at Amazon. It came highly recommended on the About.com Walking site (link is to the left). I've broken down how many steps it takes to walk my 1/8 and had already begun counting steps on my walks, so I read up on Step-Count walking at about.com, and I believe this will be helpful for me in pushing myself to do more.

Since I sleep in the daytime, I walk at night. Because it's the nighttime (often 1, 2, or 3 in the morning even), I know how many feet each lot width is (80), and my saunter is 20 right steps from driveway to driveway on my street. So, I calculated how many 20's I need to do to reach 1/8 mile, and I do that to measure. I only go like 5 lots down from my house on the sidewalk, and I take Reggie with me. Or I just walk back and forth in front of our house on the sidewalk, although I feel dopey doing it in case there is a neighbor with insomnia watching me, LOL. Seriously, I don't care. If someone's watching, I'd love to tell them to enjoy it. LOL But seriously, we have two neighborhood cats who sleep in the street every night, this is how dead our traffic is at night. Lots of retired neighbors, and they go to bed by 10 p.m. Anyway, I vary the walking up, since I don't do it all at once. It's only been 2 weeks, but I can feel benefits already. I know from 2 other times in my life where I employed a walking regimen in losing weight, this will work. I just have to keep doing it.

2. THERAPY: I've gone to group and I've gone to all my one-on-ones, just like I've been supposed to. I tell ya, the things I've realized are too numerous to list here right now, much less discuss in detail. Maybe later, for another day. But, I can say that I have learned just how easy it was for me to slip into a passive life. How easy it was for my family to enable it, too. We've all learned and realized, and I am so grateful for and proud of Miguel and Missy.

The more time has passed, the more I've realized that it wasn't so much the shopping that was the problem, although I did purchase scrapping stuff way in excess of what I really needed. It's been all of the time online I spent, especially the message boards. I could not read just a couple of posts. I had to get on there and read them all. Then, had to post. Several times a day. Then, I'd get into the challenges and contests and this and that whatever others were doing, and soon, that was ALL I was doing. Being off them enabled me to "dry out" and look objectively. Again, I am not dissing that. I totally love doing it. It made me happy. I just could not control it, for my life. Ever hear of a saying "Your Mileage May Vary"? Totally appropriate here. Anyway, between the boards and all my emails I used to get and no longer do (clicking on all the links in emails and ezines from scrapping sites to see the galleries and articles and whatever else was to be clicked on), this was a LOTTA time I now have back. It has not been easy, but so far I've been good about not even going there...or there...or there.

Since it was not required that I go to these help groups and therapy (only suggested at maybe helping me to figure it all out), I can quit at any time, and I am considering stopping group. I get 8 therapy one-on-one visits through insurance, so I'll finish those. It's relaxing to discuss whatever I want to. I also get to report on my progress on all my goals. It's just a nice reinforcement.

3. DIET: On the Diet scene, that's been going good too. The thing I've been working on is making myself weigh every other day (as opposed to once or twice a week, like I used to do during the first phase of Atkins). Learning how many carbs I can eat and still lose weight requires me to know my weight fluctuations so I can know how I lose weight. So far, I see that I lose in Wooshes, with some days weighing 3 lbs more than I should, then losing, then gaining a bit back; and if I only weigh every week, what if I'm on a high day weightwise? That is disappointing and can affect motivation. I should really weigh every day, and I'll get there.

I found some cool low carb items at the grocery and have been enjoying delicious Mission carb balance tortillas, sugar-free peanut butter, applesauce, and cocktail sauce (for some delicious shrimp cocktails, yum). I'm trying to keep my carb count below 50, but also I am having a nice cheat meal every 3-4 days to see how I handle it long term over a week or two (if I still lose weight, and so far I have been). I'm still eating mostly protein and salads though. And I'm trying to add good carbs, or at least non-horrible ones. LOL

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TAGGED!
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I got an email from a friend letting me know that Jayne tagged me. This is personal trivia, so here goes:

Here are 8 Random Facts About Me:

1. In the hot months, I sleep in the daytime and stay up at night.

2. I think Posh and Becks are "Major!", and I love Posh's new reality show.

3. I watch way too much Turner Classic Movies. I even keep it on when I sleep with the sound turned down on low.

4. I usually towel dry my hair, let it air dry, and I don't brush it out until the next day.

5. Although I rarely drink wine, my favorite is a Texas Shiraz (red), slightly chilled.

6. Most of my makeup is made by Avon, as is most of my perfume. Love the stuff.

7. I color my hair with L'Oreal Preference. It's the only one that covers my hair and doesn't turn my hair reddish. Yup, I'm worth it, LOL.

8. Whenever I'm feeling "off", I drink some water. If that doesn't help, I drink a cup of green tea. If that doesn't help, I'm probably sick or the arthritis is flaring.

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My Life 101: A Gameplan and Progress

I've been working on my gameplan list and I've actually done some of them. And, they have worked! Life has been healthy since last I blogged. I cannot complain, really. In fact, every new day makes me more renewed with determination to regain my life. I feel like I have put some miles between me and the last time I freely indulged my addiction, which was June 29th.

Now, my mission statement identifies these specific problems I want / need to work on and deal with:
1. buying too many supplies
2. spending too much time reading and posting to boards and blogs
3. gaining too much weight
4. not interacting with family and life

One of the first things I decided to do was to go through my emails I get and begin to unsubscribe to all but the least tempting and most important ones. I get a TON of emails in the form of store ads, newsletter, sales alerts, etc. It's not uncommon to have gotten 80-90 emails a day. I've been working hard on unsubbing. At first it was really a chore, but as most of the emails have stopped, things are getting slowly better on that front.

I also began a strict low carb diet two weeks ago last Sunday, and am now in the second phase of it where I work on controlling carb intake while still losing weight..finding that magic amount. I think I won't go into details about that here, because I am seriously considering starting another blog to document that journey. I'll just say that I'm having success so far.

I've also been doing a few things (in addition to my medical/therapy visits) that have gotten me out of the house. Just a few though. It's basically been going places with DD that she wants to go with me to. She's having a garage sale Saturday, so we've not been doing much else this week except for weeding out stuff to sell.

I also have been paying attention to daily little personal hygiene things that add up to being important to my life and health, like making sure I get 8 hours of sleep every day, that I drink my Metamucil and eat a yogurt and drink my 4 bottled waters every day, that I get a shower and dress decently, that I alcohol my feet and shins once or twice a day (the reoccurring cellulitis has me uber-cautious). And that I blog on one of my blogs, if not daily, then every few days, because it really does help to get it all out.

That's where I'm at on that then. These things will probably be on my homework list.

My Life 101: Reality Bites

Well, it's been a few days and I got several positive and supposrtive comments on my post, and several more supportive emails, some of them from gals sharing my problem. It's been really nice to receive the support and I thank you. In case anyone felt I was implying that lots of scrappers have my problem, I do not think that at all. Just wanted to stress that. I was a bit in shock to realize how easily someone like me could have hid myself among the 75% of scrappers who joke about spending too much on supplies they never use because they are spending their time on boards and blogs and such. I have no idea whatsoever about anyone else, although I do believe I am not the only one who cannot handle all the temptation.

And also, I wanted to state in no uncertain terms, I'm trying to be honest about all this. What's funny is that I did want to lie at first, as I needed to explain my change of online habits. I thought about just saying I got a new job cuz I needed to financially, and no more time for online, end of story. Had it not been for having to go public for group, I might have never been honest. It's hard to be honest for me, cuz it's silly and stupid and I've let it happen. And I can't control it, either. That makes me feel really stupid. So anyway, why would anyone make this up, LOL, ya gotta admit, that's a good question. It's real and I am going through it. Dealing with it. Dealing.

It saddens me greatly to think of anyone I've hurt by making these life changes, but my family wants me to do this, and they receive my first responsibility. I wish I could please everyone here, I really do, but I need to make the changes I'm making.

So , I went to my first weekend group meeting, having had it suggested to me by our leader therapist. If you are serious about dealing, you can get more interaction with the therapist cuz not that many show up on Friday or Saturday night. Mondays and Wednesdays are really crowded (that's when I went the first time).

This time I had a really productive meeting. I plan to go on Fridays from now on. For homework, I had to come up with a specific mission statement of what I think are my problems I want or need to deal with, which I did. And then we shared. I got great feedback on refining my list and I think I now have one that can lead to some success in getting a grip on things.

Speaking of things, every day I realize more and more, because I mull over things , try to view from all angles, give myself time to digest, yada yada. So, here's the mission statement I shared:

Because of some devestating health problems and dismal diagnosis that afflicted me starting in 2002, and because of the resulting meds I was prescribed, I became more and more introverted and resigned to being disabled, until I possibly gave up on leading a normal, productive life. When I discovered scrapbooking in 2004, I threw myself into it as a way to be productive, but ended up retreating into online scrapbooking until I eventually did little else but read and post on boards and blogs and create art. I recognized in February 2007 that I might need to cut back on spending, but had only nominal success, because I had not yet realized how encompassing my escape was (much more than supplies shopping).

Well, this is what I can own for now. I think it was finally admitting to myself the gi-normous amount of time I was spending on boards. See, I had to read every post, every time I visited. Plus, I am slow (I didn't used to be slow, I'm convinced it was the 2 years I spent on prescribed hydrocodone and anti-depressants...I am glad I took myself off them both as it could have been worse damage-wise, but I'm also sad to have the side effect damage me). I am real slow. Very thorough, very cerebral about what I've read, too. So, it took me forever, on a regular basis. I'd think 30 minutes went by and it was really 3 hours.

Also, when I was on the boards, I tended to buy more supplies, which is not to blame the borads for the amounts I spent, but is still too tempting if your budget is zero. Now, was I hypnotized to go on them? Hell, no. I totally enjoyed the people! I love you ALL! But, I had to go off them cold turkey. Had to. And for how long I do not know. I have fought the urge almost daily to log on to them. I enjoyed it, just can't handle it. Still not ready to go back either. It's kind of been fun discovering other ways to fill my time. It really has been fun, in part because it's been so freakin long since I've filled my time other ways, LOL.

In the meantime, my house was getting more and more junked up with scrapbooking crap. My bank accounts were not getting reconciled. My bills were paid, I did make sure of that. And we are not in any financial trouble, I've just spent more than I should. We still pay our charge cards off every month and we still have money saved, just not as much, thanks to me. I used to bring in $15-20K a year with my tax business, but ever since getting sick I'd been thinning out my clientele and my income had been going down; yet, I seemed to forget that and kept on spending like I was still bringing it in. I have gotten to where I rarely leave my house, maybe once every 2 weeks (not counting going to the doctor or to therapy or to group). I've been a homebody for probably 3 years now, because I also gained close to 80 pounds while on the pain killers and anti-deps, and I wanted no one I knew to see me. DH and DD gradually took over all the shopping. What I did manage to do regularly besides the online scrapbooking and creating stuff, was I would keep the dishes and kitchen sink clean, the laundry, and occasionally some vacuuming.

My next homework is to create a gameplan list of tangible actions for dealing with my problems. More on that later....

My Life 101: A New Reality?

I originally posted on my art blog about the extraordinary changes in my life lately, but now I've decided to create a separate blog for that whole topic and leave the art blog exclusively for the art I create. I'll re-post to here what I blogged:

It sure has been a long time since last I posted. I did mean to get my good friend Vanessa to guest-blog in my absence, but life got in the way of that.

I’ve been sick with the cellulitis in my leg again and banned off the computer again, just like in February. This time, I was given twice the antibiotic and stress-reduction therapy.

In the meantime, with nothing better to do, I worked on sorting financial and personal records and discovered that we are slowly but surely still leaking money. Monthly expenses keep rising by as much or more than what we can save by cutting back. The whole truth is that I sorted them so that I could fill out my homework for the therapy, and it was decided that I have a shopping addiction, and I was steered to a self-help group that meets at a hospital in Houston one night a week.

Okay, well, if it sounds like I practically blurted that out, I believe that I did. In 3 weeks, I have to admit that to the group and we get extra credit as it were to admit in public, like a blog or church group or whatever. I will explain further that it’s an addiction to scrapbooking / craft supplies. And I don’t dispute it, because when I saw what I’d spent in the last 4 years, who could deny it then? Yet, I am still in denial a bit. Or in awe or disbelief. Shock, maybe? I mean, we joke about this all the time in our scrapping community, but how many of us would be similarly diagnosed as I was? What percent? 75, perhaps?

I wonder if there are any other scrap supply addictions in my group. Based on my observations at my first meeting, I do know there are some QVC-type addicts and some gamblers, and the usual clothes/general merchandise addictions. It’s gonna be interesting. I'm to spend a little time in this group and then go back to a stress-reduction group for a while longer.

Now, I have to say I'm nowhere near as bad off as most of the folks in the group that I know about so far. Some had to file bankrupcy; some have been charged with crimes. Others like me are going voluntarily to see if it helps, with no requirements. I've got so much to do to get to the point that I can work again, and I can't if all I'm doing is scrapping or talking about it, LOL. I have to admit there were a few days there that I hated scrapbooking for being the temptation it is to me. It worked for a few years to be a SAHM who spent like I had a paycheck, but this last year has really caught up with it. Our energy and insurance costs have risen, and then there is Missy and her college costs. That's all I'm gonna say on that for now, my hearts already beating faster. I value security, I guess.

Oh, and this is pretty important. I have to stay off the internet as much as possible, as pertains to supplies and well, almost anything to do with scrapbooking. And I have set a goal to lose the rest of my weight by November and then start substitute-teaching in January. My rheumatologist has all but promised me I can try working again, as long as my numbers and symptoms continue to look good.

I’ve really got to help out the family right now. And I may not be able to do it, but I have to try and assume I can until proven otherwise.

I dunno, lots of food for thought. I have to go now, but if any of you are on the message boards I’m on, please post that this blog is probably the only place I’ll be for the next several weeks and months and maybe forever. I may find I can post a so-long or an update there later, but right now I have to follow the protocol.

I truly don’t know what it means in the short run for my scrapbooking. I know I won’t quit for good or anything, but this break I have had has been enjoyed by me. I am thinking about continuing that until scrapping is the more enjoyable thing. And I have no idea how this will change this blog, except it’s obvious I won’t be showing art on a regular basis.

Well, enough for one post. Have a great week, everyone. I’ll write more when I can......