Kickin' It Up a Step

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." ~~ Confucius

Hi, everyone. Well, I gave my current journey a bit of introspection today and decided that my success has been in large part due to under estimating my goals. Yes, I'm dead serious.

Think in terms of a Type A over-achiever mentality who's creating those goals. Now, do you get it? LOL, ok, maybe you are one of those peeps, too, so you might not get it. The goals would be over-achiever goals. So, built-in failure threatens at every turn. Lower those standards, and you might just approach reality...and success.

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it, anyway. And I have been successful. Wow, that seems to be such a foreign thing to say for me when it comes to my weight. So, I am enjoying it.

I've now officially lost a net total of 35.25 pounds from my all-time high weight on April 21, 2006. That's been 1 year and 4 months, or 16 months, to lose 35 pounds. Hm, not exactly spectacular, but if you only knew the see-sawing that happened a couple of times, with some periods of *nothing* thrown in there, you would be as proud as I am. During that time I learned how finally to keep the Atkins Induction weight loss off, instead of gaining it all back and then some. I've dealt with a few health issues in that time, too, and still managed not to lose sight of my goals. And I'm now on a good program that will hopefully continue to give me a loss of a pound every 3-4 days, which has been the case over the last couple of months. But I consider that gravy since my goal is 1 pound a week. Yup, I got built-ins on built-ins when it comes to my rationales. And I truly think it's the way to go, cuz for me at least, it spurs me on when I'm successful. I truly don't have to lose the fastest or the most, and I used to think I did.

So, now, I'm gonna tack on a couple more steps to success here. First one is that Sunday I stopped using cream in my coffee. I dearly love heavy whipping cream in my coffee, but you know, it's not good for me. I've begun getting cavities along my gumline and the first thing the dentist asked me was, "Do you drink cream in your coffee?" The first day, I added some SweetnLo, but Monday I started just drinking it black, and drinking not as much. So far, so great! And as everyone knows, there's some calories in that cream that I'm not ingesting now. Yay!

Second thing is, I'm adding 200 more steps a day to my walking. (Okay, for you younger or more athletic readers, don't call me lazy or a whimp; remember, I'm technically DISABLED, OKAY? For me, it's a big deal.) I'm going to try to add 200 on every day to the previous day's total, but I suspect I might have to downsize that a bit to not so quickly. We will see how it goes... At any rate, I did add 200 today to the day before's total. Not that hard.

Oh, one thing I wanted to mention was how beneficial it has been to me to be getting a huge amount of sleep on a daily basis, like 9-10 hours. I'm very grateful to be able to do that, first off. And I feel it physically. Imean, I can feel that my body benefits from it. So I know it's helpful.

One thing that I never seem to remember is that our bodies are undergoing a lot of changes and stress when we actively pursue a weight loss and exercise program. In addition to my weight loss, I'm seeing even more drastic changes in my arms, legs, stomach, butt, face...in some places I look better, but in others worse. Like my upper arms. They looked like huge thick sausages before, but they were firm (from packed in fat, lol). Now, my upper arms hang from the bone and have dimples and wrinkles and valleys and such all over them. YUCK! Yet, I know that's because there used to be fat there that's gone now. So, it's a double-edged sword. Am I gonna be lighter and healthier but ugly and repulsive? (To my knowledge, there's no room in the budget for all that plastic surgery, short of winning the Lotto or something). I know full well that at 51, my skin may not be able to "bounce back". In other words, it might be too late for me, and that realization really, really sucks. Cuz, I did this to myself. Oh, well, can't dwell on that, mainly because I know my history: things always seem to come out better than in my worries, LOL.

Thanks to all of you who have commented, I love to read your messages. Welcome to Maria's group members, stop by and say hi! Well, time for a sleep, laterz!

Still on Track and Doing Good!

I know I have not blogged in days, but I've been doing my steps and eating healthy. Hubs and I don't go out to eat often at all, so I've been working off of a gameplan of eating up the raw foods (fruits and veggies) in the fridge bin before they spoil. This has proven to be helpful, LOL. Yup, no duh.

Of course, I'm about up to my neck in fruits and veggies and don't wanna see another one for a while. So, to outsmart my contrariness, I have adopted a strategy where I eat them first before anything else every day. Sorta like taking medicine. I doubt this can last forever, but I'll take it as long as it does.

Let's see, what has happened since last I blogged? OH! The biggest thing was that I dropped my pedometer into the toilet. That's right, the toilet. The good news about it was that I'd just finished cleaning the dang thing. The bad news about it was that a little bubble of water got into the LED so that it looked like a real live "liquid crystal display" ROFL. It stayed there for 6 days, too; then a couple of days ago, the water mysteriously escaped and voila, a dry display. And the best thing was that the pedometer never quit working. (I was all prepared to order another one, as this step-walking is addictive!) So I'm here to tell ya that the Omron HJ-112 can take a "drown" and keep on counting down. {Hardee-har-har, LOL}

On the homestead scene, the most exciting thing that happened to me this past week was that I had a snake sighting a bit too close to, well, home. I usually open our garage door for awhile every day so that the breeze can waft through and cool it off a bit...it's usually like a sauna in there, which sucks cuz I moved my rocking dhair in there to take my smoke breaks and I let the dogs go in there with me so they can visit with me on the breaks. To them, it's not a sauna; it's cooler since they live out on the back porch.

Well, I got in my car in the driveway to run errands and closed the garage door with the opener remote on my car visor. When I returned, I thought to open the garage door back up with the remote. When I did, a big-ass snake, every bit 3 feet long, was hanging from the door as it was coming up. I was just dumbfounded. So, instead of jumping out of my car to see where it would slither to, I just sat there. I finally got enough snap to get out and I think he went off the side of the driveway and under the fence into the neighbor's back yard. And so my day and week went on, but of course I battled my imagination all week about the dang thing being around here again, LOL. I finally got so tired of being worried about it that I decided he could just bite me and be done with it if that was to be. Finally got some peace from that creepy-crawly worry.

There's a pasture directly behind us that has all manner of what I call town wildlife: snakes, cow ants, field mice, skunks, possums, rabbits. This is the first house I've lived in that has given me encounters with nature's critters, because a few of them invariably make their way onto our property and venture up on the porch, even into the house on rare occasions. I've had 2 previous snake sdventures. The first one was when they'd mowed the pasture and that stirred up all the critters, and a snake got into our house and found himself a perch on our wall oven. Missy and I were in the kitchen chatting away about something, when I happened to rest my eyes over on the oven and saw him. OMG, you cannot imagine the freaking out we both did. SAhe ran and woke her dad up, so in he comes all grumpy and mean, takes some tongs and grabs the snake and walks him out to the back fence and throws him back out into the field. That's one wonderful thing about Hubs -- he's a brave man. Missy and I still shudder in unison whenever we remember that, LOL.

The second episode was one fall when it got cool suddenly one evening. The field got mowed for the winter and once again the critters got stirred up (and confused, if you ask me). A snake found its way up onto the back porch light at our back door. It was a heat source, I guess. I'm walking back into the house and just happen to see him. Once again, Hubs was asleep and no one there to help me. So, I get a pair of sharp garden shears to try to pinch his head off with. He tries to avoid me and slithers his head under the wiring pipe to the light, then he gets stuck there, luckily for me. This allowed me to run into the house and get my Gopher tool (I've also gotten snakes out of our pool using the Gopher...very versatile tool, I have 2 of them). Armed with that to pinch him securely and hold him down, I was able to cut his head off and may I say I enjoyed that, LOL).

I've also had a handful of snake-in-the-pool adventures that I'm not even counting...quite frankly, I'd love to forget them, LOL.

Memorable Week's End

I'm still on track with my Week 2 walking goals, and I haven't lost but I haven't gained either. Being that Wednesday we had pancakes and Thursday donuts (treats for Missy) and then Friday Jason's Deli for lunch with Missy (my friend Vanny met us there), I'm doing pretty darn good not gaining any, hehe.

Yesterday was Move Missy Day. She officially started college life away from home. Hubs was determined to take only one car and by the time they got her stuff all packed into the car, there was no room for me! It was either argue with Hubs and ruin the air of excitement enveloping Missy like a lovesick pup, or make the sacrifice and stay home. Since I was pretty sure that Missy would shoo us both out of her dorm the second we moved everything in and deny me any attempts at photo-taking, I decided to be the Noble Mom. After all, I'd probably be missing nothing, except meeting her roomie Anj (and Hubs told me he didn't get to meet her, she was gone to a friend's).

Anyway, as fate would have it, this ended up working out great for me, because I'd only gotten about 5 hours of sleep the night before, and I was having a hard time not freaking out over Hurricane Dean, specifically whether or not to evacuate and whether or not to stock up and what to stock up on, etc etc etc.

I just knew that with the heat, the freaking out and facing good-byes to my only child for the first time in my life, I would be a basket case. After they left around 11 a.m., I kicked back and worked on relaxing. I soon got a huge help with that. The 1 p.m. 5-day forecast update for Dean came out and we were no long in the Cone of Destruction!

Now, I know perfectly well that we could go right back into the Cone at any time. And I know that landfall is a distant 4 days away. Still, you just have no idea how much I freak at the thought of preparing for a storm. On one hand, I'm an old pro and can do it in my sleep. I've been through my share in almost 50 years. It's just that I don't wanna.

If I were smart, I'd use it as an excuse to go visit my parents. I thought about it, but geez, it's hotter up there than here. Of course, if the storm hits here, then I'd have a/c up at my parents, and probably no a/c here, which is precisely why I hate whethering hurricanes and tropical storms. The aftermath, in a direct hit, always involves no a/c, no electricity. UGH! Yes, I'm painfully aware that my life revolves around too much electricity, LOL.

I think I was also mad at DEAN cuz I'm still feelin' that feeling about geting no direct hits this year. And Dean finally, finally got the message, rofl. I THINK. He is looking more and more westward, and now the cone of destruction is hundreds of miles to our south today. So...so far, so good.

Okay, back to my story...so, after he got home last night Hubs and I went to our fave Mexican food restaurant per his request. We'd not been out to eat in a good while, and I carbed out, hehe. With Tex-Mex, how can you not????? Let's see, I had a LAredo Dinner, which was guacamole, queso cheese dip, 4 combo chicken and beef nachos, a chicken flauta, 2 enchiladas, beans, rice, jalapenos, and sour cream. I ended up only eating barely half of the whole thing, but I was stuffed. Hubs picked off my plate after he finished his, and by the time we left, my plate was almost clean! Oh yeah, I also enjoyed 2 margaritas on the rocks with sugar rims. Yummmmmmm. Seriously, they were gooood. Not being much of a drinker, I was amazed at myself for sucking down the first one and ordering a second one, then sucking that one down. Whoa. Stranger than truth, peeps, LOL. Yeah, I specifically remember last night around 10 p.m., I was like, DD-who????

This afternoon, she called and we all got on and visited. She went to work and it was easy. She hooked up with all her friends from here and hung out here and there. Her dorm is fine. She's figured out her way around everywhere. Only thing is, the cafeteria is not open, so she's at the mercy of what she can find for food. Classes don't start til Thursday, and so the cafeteria's closed. And Missy will go for too long before she thinks about eating. We were always having to ask her and remind her, did you eat, when, what, how much? Well, I guess I'll just have faith that if she gets hungry enough she will walk to McDonalds, cuz it's stupid for me to worry. She had a chance to buy food to take and she figured she'd wait til she got up there. Her roomie has a car and so does her friend Garrett and Diego's roomie Eric has one too. Someone can get her to Walmart if she has to go. (No, we did not let her take her car. Her job is within sight of her dorm, as is her classes, so it saves insurance money and gasoline thi way.)

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Polls Need Love, too
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Finally, let me get this over with: results of some polls I took over at BlogThings, after Vanny hounded me for about a week! LOL She dared me to take 5 polls. Now I'm daring her to do the same! (P.S. I did 6 polls, 1 extra, because I apparently can't count...LOL...no, seriously, I had wanted to do the Pisces one but forgot about it until after I'd done the first five. So, I did the Pisces one, too...because I really am a Pisces!
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You Are 70% "Average American"

You are average because you rate your appearance 5 or higher. You are not average since you have (at least) a college degree.

How "Average American" Are You?

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You Are a Conservative Democrat

Frankly, the way most other Democrats behave embarasses you greatly. You pride yourself on a high level of morals, and you have a good grasp on right and wrong. It's likely you think America needs to get back to its conservative, Juedo-Christian values. Why aren't you a Republican then? Because you believe the goverment helps more than hurts.

What's Your Political Persuasion?

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Your Brain's Pattern

Your mind is an incubator for good ideas, it just takes a while for them to develop. But when you think of something, watch out! Your thoughts tend to be huge, and they come on quickly - like an explosion. You tend to be quiet around others, unless you're inspired by your next big idea.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

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Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking

You aren't afraid to delve head first into a difficult subject, with mastery as your goal. You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk. You should major in: Philosophy Music Theology Art History Foreign language

What Should You Major In?

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You Have a Melancholic Temperament

Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything. You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life. You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you. Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace. You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life. Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times. At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you. You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others. You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult.

What Temperment Are You?

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You are 73% Pisces

How Pisces Are You?

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Many Thanks for Comments
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Thank you to my readers who've taken the time to comment or email me. I'm always thinking that, but I hardly ever *say* it.

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Lead Paint, But No Recall
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I ran across this photo the other day on Flickr's Creative Commons (attributed to Nor Cal Jeff) of a gorgeous pink Humboldt Victorian in Eureka, CA. This may just be my Totally-Just-A-Fantasy Dream House, LOL. I never did have a doll house when I was a kid (Barbie's Dream House not withstanding), so maybe that's the root cause of my attraction. I love to look at it, it's just plain pleasing to my eye. An "Ahhhh" moment..... I would totally have my craft room in the turret, if I could, LOL.

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The Rain, The Heat, and Hurricanes
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This is how seasoned and callous we are down here, no one is even breakin' a sweat over Tropical Storm Erin's landfall tomorrow just a few hundred miles south of us. We had a wretched storm blow through last night, part of the "squalls" of rain bands surrounding her. Tomrrow we have an 80% chance of rain, Friday's 50% and Saturday's 30%. My house could continue to get deluges or it could not have another drop fall on it. The winds could be strong and destructive, or barely a breeze.

All we seem to care about is how she has lowered the temperature enough to get a break in this summer's extraordinary swelter. Well, I say 'break': right now, as of midnight, it's 82F degrees outside. Up until the last week in July, the night time temp had remained in the low to mid 70's.

Anyway, it's like we are all mesmerized by the heat or lack of it, and cannot think past it. The days have turned pretty much into doing everything based on the sweat it will produce and whether it's worth it. Movements are slower, energies are constantly drained. I take frequent little "set down for while" breaks to air out my socks and feet and give my specific prickly body parts time to calm down. The Gold Bond lotion has become a frequent treat, like chocolate or something.

DH started back on days today and was just worn out, even with it being cooler. The last thing he wants to think about is tracking a storm and prepping our property, and he's usually Johnny-on-the-spot. I know this is silly, but I've had a constant feeling that we're not getting any direct hits here this season. I'm sure it's because Missy'll be separated from us, on further up the coast, and I just do not want to think about what kind of plan we will need if one hits. Guess I better start formulating some ideas on that, though, huh? I wonder if she would be safer just staying there, or are we supposed to come get her? Thank goodness for email and cell phones. I would hate to have to worry about it without those tools.

Let's see if I'm right about no storms next week, when Dean is supposed to come barrelling into the Gulf.....

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Missy's Collegiate Adventures
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Tomorrow Missy and I need to go to the bank and get the savings account straight, whether I'm still a signer and can tranfer money out of it as needed. I've decided to just let Missy charge her books. We are going to charge the tuition/room/board bill, and then transfer funds to our account when it's time to pay the card (we pay our balance off in full every month). I've recently become aware of a recent federal law change (part of all that credit card "reform" that seems to be penalizing us consumers, argh) that allows banks to charge fees for not following stricter "float" procedures. Like, if you transfer funds into a bank account at 10 one morning and then use that account's debit card to spend those funds at 9 the same morning, it's like you are floating those funds and a fee kicks in. And the fees are horrible. LOTS of people posting over at my local newspaper's chat board about how much money it's cost them. Used to be, if your deposit hit the bank before 2pm, it would cover whatever you'd spent that morning. But no more. To be safe, you need to leave a day's business between the two (with the deposit getting there first).

Because of that, I don't want to risk us falling prey to that, as I know that Missy does a lot of things last minute. So, we can just use the credit card float and stay perfectly legal. Handling money matters long distance and trying to advise a teen on money matters at the same time...well, kinda scary. This is virgin territory for us both.

Missy is going to open her own checking account on the edge of campus, though, for her spending money expenses. She kept back 4 of her last paychecks. She's getting a debit card for that one, so there should be a bit of a cushion. I'll have to sort of be a thorn in her side for a while to make sure she doesn't do something to incur the wrath of the bank fees. I think this might be the hardest part of parenting, as the economic stakes and risks just keep getting higher and higher. Yes, I'm a worrier, but that is my natural tendency for any "first". This tiome next year I should be cool as a cucumber and very experienced. LOLOL

Let's see, I don't think I knew to report last post, but Missy has a job for the next month at the bookstore on the edge of campus nearest her dorm. Her first day is Sunday, work right away. So, she'll be earning some money. There's even odds that she'll be kept on, though, because the status of a current employee is in limbo and Missy would be replacing her. So, we shall see. We both really wanted Missy to get this job, because it's close to her dorm and it closes at 5:30 most days (no late nights). Plus, she would not be working many hours, which I like. I don't really want her working more than 15 hours a week, 20 max. I want her to have fun, too!

Her roommate is from Longview and seems like a really nice young woman. I'm looking forward to meeting her Saturday. I've only seen her MySpace. I think it is cool that they are both English majors. The university tries to pair roommates up like that. Missy and Anj compared notes and both of them had put many similar answers on their dorm questionaire. I wish I'd have had a questionaire in my day, LOL.

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Walk This Weigh
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This heat has stopped me from walking outside at night now. The only place I can walk for the time being is in my little circle in the house thru the den, living room, dining room, kitchen and back into the den. And then do this several times, then do that several times a day. Around and around. It's more fun than I let on, and pretty brainless, but it's just not worth it to pour buckets of sweat outside at 11 at night, ya know? I'd rather hit the table occasionally and gain a bruise than sweat like that.

I totalled my steps and mileage for my first week using the pedometer, and I'm walking a little over a mile a day on average. If you will remember how I wasn't even able at first to do more than 1/8 mile before hurting, these are great numbers and something to be proud of, as I am. That pedometer is wonderful. I highly recommend getting one.

And, knock wood, I am continuing to lose a pound every few days and eat carbs now. I'm still not counting calories and hopefully won't need to until I get closer to my wanted weight range. It's been hard to not look at the carb counts on labels, though. Then it seems silly to, since I'm not trying to do Atkins. I think it's good to keep looking, tho. Doesn't hurt.

I can also take my time working up to 10K steps a day, too, without sacrificing the benefit of walking. Next week, I'm going to bump up my daily steps a bit, but this week's totals may not be even as good as last week's, because of this being Move Missy Weekend. I haven't been able to give it the needed attention. Thank goodness my weight loss has continued.

Yup, I'm definitely a turtle.... {LOL}

Can You Read Me Now?

My In-Real-Life best friend Vanessa and I were kavetching as usual Friday morning. The topic for this du jour was my microscopic blog text. I was accused of causing Vanny eye strain, so I said, "ok then tell me how to make it bigger and I will."

I knew the instant I formed the words that this would shut her up. (It took her 18 months to work up the courage to start a blog.)

Well, r.i.p. to best-laid plans. Tonight, she emails me the directions. Gotta hand it to her, this is akin to a dyslexic winning a spelling bee. Lunch is on me next week, girl. You deserve it!

Anyway, duly changed. I hope everyone else's eye strain is relieved, and I do apologize.

It does make it easier to read. You were right, Vanny. ;}

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*Shrinking* to Fit
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I knew there was more I wanted to post last time, and here it is before I forget or decide, as I did last time, that I'm too tired to get into it.

I've made a lot of progress with my therapist. I of course knew the details of my life all along, but she has helped me connect the dots on the Big Picture of the last handful of years.

Up until now I'd only seen things as autonomous events; ergo, the "cause" had to be fate. And that didn't ring true to me, but I couldn't think of anything more sensible. I can't really reveal the details because they involve some troubles and challenges that Missy was dealt in high school, and she faced and overcame them, but as an only-mom (read mom of an only child), the timing of this collided with my journey of trying to "let go"; and more importantly, I'd just been diagnosed with the arthritii and the outlook was scary and grim...I was still in shock over that. Then a few things happen to Missy that just were not fair. She could not cut a break. I was preoccupied with my illness, and Hubs was as always clueless, so Missy had to face a couple of things on her own.

Now, as always happens with retrospect, these are trials that bind, that mold and build and test. Good stuff for growing up, which she has done beautifully. But I never addressed my mama-bear guilt and anger and frustration and sadness. We took a dream vacation to Europe, but that did not solve everything. I further reacted to my feelings that no one understood by ending two friendships and becoming more introspective and homebodied. It was about that time I began my long journey of escape into scrapbooking, message boards and procuring supplies.

For awhile it was incredibly positive for me. I needed to connect with people, but I should have been hitting forums like "Parents of Victimized Students" or "Over-Protective Parents Anonymous", heck I don't know which way it was. I just know it was a tough time. And if it were a course, I probably flunked it good. Instead, I replaced those issues with scrapbooking and ran to those boards. I found commaraderie and fellowship, and it did me so much good for a long time.

Eventually, the old issues wanted closure, so here I sit. So, I have been facing up to owning all those feelings. And we are working on coping strategies for dealing with my negative feelings. So far, I can't cozy up to any, but I do consider it progress that I can now see a domino effect that connects my illness to the high school crap. It still makes me want to stay away from people, I have sort of a general distrust and disillusionment now. Plenty to work on.

Ya See, It's Like This...

...you know when you're having such a great vacation that you DO forget to write?

I must be on vacation then. LOL For the first time in a long time, I feel like I really am living my best life. If I had 3 wishes, I would ask for faster weight loss, ability to message board again, and more money (like, I write a best-selling novel, ROFL).

Being that those 3 wishes are likely to happen when pigs fly, perhaps that proves that my best life is indeed gettin' lived. {winkwink}

Anyway, I do know that the mental "I f*d up" cloud has blown away for awhile and every day is unfolding to be a bit better than the one before. It's all gonna be slow, dammit, but I've always been more of a tortoise than a hare.

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What's Eatin' Me?
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Updating on my diet, it's slowly evolving over to more carbs, preferably good ones. I have been trying out something I read, to do a 3-day cycle where you eat limited calories one day, then more the next, then limited again on the 3rd except you have one treat meal, like wise fast food or a restaurant meal. Combined with my walking, it's been both do-able and scale-worthy. I continue to lose consistently, albeit slowly. Looks like I'm gonna be losing only 1-3 pounds a week.

I know, I know. This is normal weight loss, and I am definitely happy to have it. There's also a real good chance that because I started walking, I am building back muscle and that weighs a bit more, and just maybe when that levels off I could lose a little more. Bottom line is, I successfully weaned off Atkins Induction without gaining back! I cannot tell you how relieved I am and happy. This was my 6th time to do Induction, and the first 4 times I put every pound plus more back on afterwards because I did not manage it properly. The 5th time, last year, I goofed up a couple of times and it took 6 months to "keep" the weight loss, but I finally learned how. And this time, I honed it down to a science!

Everyone's body chemistry and metabolism is different, but mine is really set on keeping all this weight. I do best if I find 3-4 different good diets (eating plans) and rotate them. My motivation likes it too. Makes it more interesting. Since DH does the low carb, I end up eating that way for around 50% of what I eat. Because of my various medical issues, I have to add in things like Metamucil and yogurt. There is still no bread in the house, but we do have the carb control tortillas. Now we have no saltines (I love them). I've been missing sandwiches lately and I think that's why I will get a Burker King dollar menu burger every once in a while. I look in the meat drawer and see stuff I should eat, but my first thought is, make a sandwich. Then when I remember no bread, I don't wanna eat it on its own, LOL. So, I usually don't eat.

Yup, that's one way to do it, huh?

I just gave up and baked some healthy muffins. These are great...instant breakfast and a good snack, too. I limit myself to 2 a day, so far so good...

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P.E. Class
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I've just finished my first week using that new pedometer and I am hooked! It's so funny the few times I've forgotten to clip it on and missed recording all those steps, egads! LOL It really does grow on ya and I've been increasing my daily walking faster than I'd planned. In fact, the other night I actually walked around the block for the first time since 2004! Yay! (My lower back L4 and L5 is degenerated and began hurting big time in 2004 to where I couldn't move after walking a measly 1/8 of a mile. So I gradually quit walking.) I probably should not have pushed it quite that far at once, because I was totally wiped out so much I had to take the day off yesterday, but I'm glad I know I can do it. I'll go back to working my way up to being able to do it every day, but I know I can do it now. I actually was afraid I'd never be able to do it again. Even when I would go shopping and have to walk, it has been difficult pain-wise. Maybe maybe it'll get better.

I think it will, cuz Im noticing little things, improvements in my physical fitness. When I bend down, it's easier. When I bend over, it's easier, less fat in the ole' belly, definitely. When I go through a few of the doors in my house (one walk-in closet and our bathroom doors are 24" wide), I have much better balance and navigate them without the usual knocking into one side. I can actually go through without touching. Washing my legs and feet, and twisting around, in the shower is easier. I'm sweating less. My skin is not heat-rashing, and knock wood on that staying that way. I'm sleeping better. I have more energy when I'm awake. And get this, I'm now sleeping at night, naturally, although that can change on a dime depend on what's going on.

In addition to the muscle toning, I think it's also the increased blood flow, my circulation's improved. When you get out of shape, you don't realize what all gets flabby in addition to muscles. Getting in shape involves the lungs, the skin, the nerves, even the mind.

I have bought some great walking shoes at Payless. I was afraid that being no-name brand would mean they were cheap, but so far so good. They are called Casey and they are light as a feather and the heel does not tug and rub on my heel. The cut of the shoe fits great (I have a wide width foot but a narrow heel, totally weird). I almost bought another pair, but they only come in black, and I decided I'd just find me another magic pair once these wear out.

I also broke out some teddy-type tee shirt tops to wear under my sleeveless button-down shirts that have become part of my daily summer heat gear. Yup, layers even for summer, LOL. I really only wear the shirt when I answer the door or run an errand. And of course, I am wearing my pedal-pusher pants. But I may soon need to break out the sewing machine and take them in to continue to wear them. Correct that: I really need to do that now. It's pretty comical actually. You know the clown with his hands in the pockets of his big-ass pants? I can do that with my pants. LOL The only saving grace is a tighter than normal elasticized waistband on them, something that usually felt uncomfortable but now not so much! Yay! I'm rolling the waistband 2-3 times so they will hug me a bit, but I will soon need to make some seam adjustments. Either that or pull out the seersucker plaid pedal-pushers that were always a size too small. (LOL, I like pedal-pushers, I think).

Oh, and I even did some aerobics a couple of times this week. Denise Austin has a show on Lifetime that beginners can follow. I picked up some great exercises for that part of the abdomen called the "C-Section Section" (the lower lower abs). I had thought those muscles were dead and turned to dust, but I've been doing the exercises and those muscles are still there! Almost fainted to know that, thank goodness.

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It's All About Family
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Well, we are all busy around here getting Missy ready to go. Actually she is doing that and coming up with last-minute needs, and we are helping with those. Like needing our 2006 tax return and hers. We always extend, so I'll be doing that this weekend. She found a lady at the local college who does those FAFSA applications for you, and she's gonna go get that done next week. And, we need to transfer her college savings to a new account in my name so I can pay her bills. I still have no idea on that one, guess it doesn't really matter much, but I don't want to research it, how boring. LOL

We had her garage sale last Saturday (had to cancel it from the week before due to rain). She was open for 6 hours and made $300. She was happy. Me, I hate garage sales. If one could be pleasant though, it was. We only had one weirdo show up. He was a fat bearded white guy who thought he was witty and tried to flirt with Missy and play around with her digital camera that no one bought. I was sitting in the garage out of sight, and when I heard his ridiculous banter, I got up and stood there watching him. Hubs also kind of perked up and stared, so I think we might have weirded the guy out, LOL. Anyway, he left. Good riddance.

Right after he did, though, we got a flash rain shower, and it was panic time. Diego was there helping us, so all 4 of us were grabbing what we could and running it back to the garage. The kids of course grabbed the clothes (duh, those can get wet!) and Hubs grabbed the woodworking tools he was selling. I noticed all the electronics, and gathered them up. Then I barked at the kids to go grab all the books. Then it stopped raining, so we got to towel off the tables and put it all back out there. We were all taking naps by 3 p.m., let me tell ya. We were wore out. LOL

Well, there is more to tell, I know, but I'm tired of typing and it's time to go walk some more. Have a great weekend, everybody.

Net Effect: GOOD!

I have good news: I was able to weigh myself yesterday afternoon, thanks to receiving bathroom blessings (see 8/1's blog entry as to what that is...LOL). And the good news is that I only gained back a pound of that Whoosh loss! So, the walking must have really helped keep me from paying a bigger price for my cheating. Hopefully, that is true and it continues. I think this also means that my weight setpoint (the weight my body seems to gravitate back to) might just have gone down a pound. Nothing stunningly drastic here, but progress nonetheless. Important progress for me, as this is how I have to lose the weight. I can't stay on Atkins Induction long-term; I am struggling to last the 2 weeks it's advised for. I think it's great for confusing the old matebolism and shaking up the setpoint, but since ketosis (the chemical change that you fall into after 4 days on Induction, where you basically are a fat-burning fool) always makes me feel like crap, I don't really trust it all that much as being 100% safe. I stay intermittently naucious and tired while I am on that phase of the diet, and it seems like nothing can help. (These are classic symptoms that many diet followers suffer, so it's more of an inconvenience and annoyance than anything else, but still...).

So, I am thinking about changing the diet strategy for myself up. I'm thinking the most about something similar to Weight Watchers, that limits bad carbs as well as calories (this is translated into those points, but basically those two are restricted). I am also finding myself wishing for a pre-determined food menu that accomplishes this, along with built-in suggests for cheating non-harmfully.

If I do this, I am going to create a bit of conflict between myself and DH, as he is on the low carb wagon. Since it has worked for him, and since he only had to lose 20 pounds (and does not realize how lucky he is to not really have a weight problem at all), he doesn't realize that someone like me can't rely on just one gameplan. He and Missy are both blessed with what I like to call a "skinny gene", and both of them are constantly forgetting that I am in Phase 2 of Atkins. Or they never listened to me in the first place....sigh. (That happens frequently in other areas of our life together, too). Or, they are thinking, you wuss, stay on Induction til you lose that weight! (They are both hard-asses like that.) Well, I can't stay on it. I can only use it occasionally and then I have to fight to keep the weight off once I end it, but done successfully, the weight loss lasts. Which is where I'm at right now, on the downhill side of that.

I just have to accept that this weight is going to come off just as slowly if not more slowly than it went on. Slow and steady can win the race, but I can't forget about it for months or even weeks or even days (right now). The wonderful thing about dieting (or, rather, repeat dieting), is that you really can learn from your mistakes.

My lesson to learn is that if weight loss was a war, I'd have to win it with a very high number of little skirmishes/battles instead of one or two humongo battles. (get it? Each battle equals a little weight lost? Sounds a bit nutty, but it's really a great analogy.) If I completely stop fighting and strategizing, the enemy (weight) sneaks back up and takes over and starts defeating me. I have had a clear history of dieting for a while and then abandoning it for longer. So this will be a great lesson to master!

In addition, the longer that I can eat a balance of food groups that helps me not gain weight, the more successsful I'll be. I do honestly believe there is something to lowering carb intake in a diet. I also think that there is a positive cumulative effect over time in doing this. I know that anthropological research shows that the body trains and learns over time, so why wouldn't it learn from what food you are feeding it? Carbs, especially the "bad" ones (sugared and processed foods), is a quick energy source for the body. If your diet provides you with less of those carbs than you need for fuel, your body will then burn fat. This is a very basic explanation, but the end result is that less carb intake improves weight loss when your diet is sensible, you get exercise, and you don't have a lot of carbs messing with your insulin level.

God, I know this blog must be incredibly boring, LOL. It's become pretty much a big peptalk to myself for staying straight. If you have read it, you deserve the Job Patience Award, especially if you are not running away screaming, LOL. It does help me, though. Last night, I almost went to buy tons of carbs. But, I thought about how stupid that'd sound to have to write here. Literally. And, instead I ate the leftover shrimp zuccini from Tuesday night and a porkchop from last night's supper. I literally take it one day at a time, and I guess that's huge proof that food to me is a lot like alcohol is to an alcoholic.

My pedometer arrived yesterday and I got it programmed so I was able to use it last night/this morning. According to the pedometer, I wasn't giving myself enough step credit when measured against how far I walk in 20 steps. Apparantly, I've been walking farther than 1/8, 1/4, or even 3/8 miles. Last night I walked the same number of steps that I'd tagged as 3/8 mile, and it computed them as .55 miles! I'm totally confused, but since I am only going farther on the step count, I'll follow the pedometer's logic. So now I am walking 1/2 mile a day, and I'm going to see how much I can increase it every couple days. No more waiting a week to increase my load. My neck and upper arms are terribly sore and painful, and my legs are just slightly less painful, but it's almost a good pain. I'm very hooked on the walking, and I am feeling so blessed that my lower back is not acting up over the walking like it used to do. If I could have one wish, it would be for my back to stay that way and not flare up. I think tonight I will push a continuous workout a bit and see just how long I can keep it up before it starts really hurting. I don't know if that's really wise, but I want to know!!!!

Well, I need to shower and then lay down for a while. Missy is going ahead with her garage sale and I bet she has not even thought about tables for it. We have plenty of tables, but a ton of crap is sitting on all of them in the garage. So, I will need to be clearing out and throwing away and reorganizing to free up as many tables as possible. Here's hoping I can move tonight or tomorrow! Lots of physical activity involved in that!

Have a great day and don't forget, eat some carbs for me! LOLOL

I've Been Cheatin'

Yup, the temptation of chocolate's been weighing on me too heavily. Monday, I enjoyed some Pepperidge Farms Chocolate Fudge cake and a 53-carb-grams Lean Cuisine. And today, more cake, as well as a bacon and egg burrito from our local taqueria. And we are talkin huge, with a big whole wheat tortilla full of carbs. But, I've also been walking like crazy. And, I'm just too chicken to weigh until I poop (which is how often I'm gonna weigh because I cannot force myself to weigh any more frequently). So, we will see if and how bad the consequences are. I remain hopeful. LOL Would that not be cool if I didn't gain? Talk about clinging to a prayer, but like I said, I remain hopeful.

Second week into OWL (Ongoing Wight Loss, carb-control phase) and I am getting so tired of low carb the way it's done at our house. I look at my DH who eats low carb or no carb here and walks at least a mile or two every evening, and wonder why he doesn't look like an advanced-stage AIDS patient. He is getting leaner all the time, so he must be losing weight. I ask him and he says no, he's maintaining the 20 he lost to be his desired weight. I'm like, he has gotta be lying!

Anyway, he's a stern task master about it, and I don't want to destroy his support of me with the diet, but I'm wanting more carbs! He operates like we are still in the first phase of Atkins (Induction). I guess it's time for me to research good carb items I can buy at the grocery store and then just go buy them. He'll be more receptive to the introductions of new foods if I've done the research and testing first.

He did look for and find more of those delish carb balance Mission tortillas the other day, after I finally finished my first pack. Ten tortillas is a lot to eat by myself, although I still remember the days where I have eaten my share of half a dozen at Mexican food restaurants. LOL, I think of one of those dinners now, and can't even imagine how many hundreds of carbs they contain. Even cheating, I don't think I ingest that many carbs in 2-3 days or possibly a week. I dunno, I do feel grateful that I don't have cravings for Mexican food, although I oughta expect it before too long. Guacamole is all I really ever crave, and I can have that if I make it from scratch. Oh, and tortillas, and I have those now.

I did notice that I slept more on Monday and on Tuesday, but I've no idea if my cheating was connected. Just an observation. I don't use an alarm clock, and usually I sleep pretty close to exactly 8 hours since I've been back on track. If my sleep is connected, then dang, low carb helps on that, too. Makes sense, to me anyway. On low carb, I have drastically less indigestion and heartburn, less muscle pain (my fibro), and less joint pain (my other arthritii). My foot has also been doing well (the psoriatic arthritis), but I'm religious about cleaning my feet periodically with alcohol. I do not want any more cellulitis aka MRSA (I label it that way, because it was first diagnosed as cellulitis and the second time also but treated as if it were MRSA and it responded much better the second time.)

Speaking of tortillas, I've kind of worked up a real favorite snack or small meal, and I'd like to pass it on. It's great for any kind of tortilla, so it's not just for carb control. Make a cheese quesadilla with 2 tortillas and grate cheese (I make foldovers with 1 tortilla at a time). Then, if you have eaten apples and cheddar cheese together and you love it like I do, then smear or spoon some applesauce (I eat unsweetended, less carbs) over that quesadilla, or you can just eat some applesauce with them. Delish! Makes a great dessert. The cheese and tortilla are so filling, and the applesauce gives it a great sweetness for that darn tooth, LOL.

As of today, we have 18 more days left with DD Missy before she goes off to college. I think sometimes that DH is really looking forward to it being less unpredictable around here. He's a real lover of the expected. And maybe even glad that we'll be alone all the time now, if you catch my drift, LOL. I'm even looking a bit forward to having a changed life, even though we will both miss her terribly. Anyway, I am enjoying her more, being with her and doing things together. She's soooo excited about being more independent and having more freedom. I remember those days well. I also know she will get homesick, but maybe with email and the cell phones we will be able to mitigate that, because I also remember how horrible that feels.

I can heartily recommend 3 movies I've seen recently on Turner Classic Movies. I don't usually gravitate towards foreign films with English subtitles. But I've kept many on in the background while doing other things, and yet few keep my interest enough to make me sit and watch. Last night I watched one that had me tied to the screen almost. A Swedish film titled "My Life as a Dog", made in the 19080's and set in the 1950's. Then, I saw a French film titled "Au Revoir, Les Enfants" that just blew me away. OMG. Candace Bergan's husband Louise Malle directed this one. I now have a top 3 of foreign films, and these two are both on there, the third one being a Danish film titled "Day of Wrath" directed by Carl Theodor Dreyer, made in 1943. I've seen that movie about 5 or 6 times and it captivates me every time. All highly recommended.

I also watched for the second time a fabulous English/Canadian John Boorman movie made in 1987 but set in WWII titled "Hope and Glory". May I just say this movie has gotten better the second time around? Such interesting and dimensional characters. And the setting, during the war, along with the story, is very realistic.

AMC has a new series that's started up called "Mad Men" that has me interested, but already I am a bit turned off by all the constant sex everyone is having, in the late 1950's. I don't believe for a minute that it's authentic to the culture then as a whole. Now, I'd just like to say that I researched the show's website and to their credit they only attest that it accurately depicts the NYC advertising industry then. However, this show is attracting young adult viewers and I suspect a lot of them are going to assume that the entire country was behaving that way back then, which wasn't true. Oh, there was unmarried sex going on, all right. Just not like a Roman orgy all the time.

Anyway, I thought maybe I could find some objective hirstorian opinion on it, but was too lazy to get up and go to the library. So I pulled David Halberstam's "The Fifties" off my bookshelf and have begun to try reading it again. It's going to be quite a while until I can know if it has anything in there that can help me concerning the TV show, as the book is a monstrous 800 pages, but I'm finding it an interesting read. Now for some related trivia: I'd forgotten how I'd come to own the book, until I opened it and out fell a typed letter from 1993 to my dad from Random House Publishing in NYC congratulating him for winning some kind of quiz contest. The book was his prize and check it out: it's a signed copy by Halberstam. My dad always gives away a book after he has read it, unless it's a play or movie reference book. Since Halberstam died last weekend, I thought about trying to sell it on ebay, but decided to read it first. It was gently used before I touched it so my read won't worsen that. Who knows, I might want to keep it. I'll decide after reading it. I just thought that was cool how it came into my possession.