I've Been Cheatin'

Yup, the temptation of chocolate's been weighing on me too heavily. Monday, I enjoyed some Pepperidge Farms Chocolate Fudge cake and a 53-carb-grams Lean Cuisine. And today, more cake, as well as a bacon and egg burrito from our local taqueria. And we are talkin huge, with a big whole wheat tortilla full of carbs. But, I've also been walking like crazy. And, I'm just too chicken to weigh until I poop (which is how often I'm gonna weigh because I cannot force myself to weigh any more frequently). So, we will see if and how bad the consequences are. I remain hopeful. LOL Would that not be cool if I didn't gain? Talk about clinging to a prayer, but like I said, I remain hopeful.

Second week into OWL (Ongoing Wight Loss, carb-control phase) and I am getting so tired of low carb the way it's done at our house. I look at my DH who eats low carb or no carb here and walks at least a mile or two every evening, and wonder why he doesn't look like an advanced-stage AIDS patient. He is getting leaner all the time, so he must be losing weight. I ask him and he says no, he's maintaining the 20 he lost to be his desired weight. I'm like, he has gotta be lying!

Anyway, he's a stern task master about it, and I don't want to destroy his support of me with the diet, but I'm wanting more carbs! He operates like we are still in the first phase of Atkins (Induction). I guess it's time for me to research good carb items I can buy at the grocery store and then just go buy them. He'll be more receptive to the introductions of new foods if I've done the research and testing first.

He did look for and find more of those delish carb balance Mission tortillas the other day, after I finally finished my first pack. Ten tortillas is a lot to eat by myself, although I still remember the days where I have eaten my share of half a dozen at Mexican food restaurants. LOL, I think of one of those dinners now, and can't even imagine how many hundreds of carbs they contain. Even cheating, I don't think I ingest that many carbs in 2-3 days or possibly a week. I dunno, I do feel grateful that I don't have cravings for Mexican food, although I oughta expect it before too long. Guacamole is all I really ever crave, and I can have that if I make it from scratch. Oh, and tortillas, and I have those now.

I did notice that I slept more on Monday and on Tuesday, but I've no idea if my cheating was connected. Just an observation. I don't use an alarm clock, and usually I sleep pretty close to exactly 8 hours since I've been back on track. If my sleep is connected, then dang, low carb helps on that, too. Makes sense, to me anyway. On low carb, I have drastically less indigestion and heartburn, less muscle pain (my fibro), and less joint pain (my other arthritii). My foot has also been doing well (the psoriatic arthritis), but I'm religious about cleaning my feet periodically with alcohol. I do not want any more cellulitis aka MRSA (I label it that way, because it was first diagnosed as cellulitis and the second time also but treated as if it were MRSA and it responded much better the second time.)

Speaking of tortillas, I've kind of worked up a real favorite snack or small meal, and I'd like to pass it on. It's great for any kind of tortilla, so it's not just for carb control. Make a cheese quesadilla with 2 tortillas and grate cheese (I make foldovers with 1 tortilla at a time). Then, if you have eaten apples and cheddar cheese together and you love it like I do, then smear or spoon some applesauce (I eat unsweetended, less carbs) over that quesadilla, or you can just eat some applesauce with them. Delish! Makes a great dessert. The cheese and tortilla are so filling, and the applesauce gives it a great sweetness for that darn tooth, LOL.

As of today, we have 18 more days left with DD Missy before she goes off to college. I think sometimes that DH is really looking forward to it being less unpredictable around here. He's a real lover of the expected. And maybe even glad that we'll be alone all the time now, if you catch my drift, LOL. I'm even looking a bit forward to having a changed life, even though we will both miss her terribly. Anyway, I am enjoying her more, being with her and doing things together. She's soooo excited about being more independent and having more freedom. I remember those days well. I also know she will get homesick, but maybe with email and the cell phones we will be able to mitigate that, because I also remember how horrible that feels.

I can heartily recommend 3 movies I've seen recently on Turner Classic Movies. I don't usually gravitate towards foreign films with English subtitles. But I've kept many on in the background while doing other things, and yet few keep my interest enough to make me sit and watch. Last night I watched one that had me tied to the screen almost. A Swedish film titled "My Life as a Dog", made in the 19080's and set in the 1950's. Then, I saw a French film titled "Au Revoir, Les Enfants" that just blew me away. OMG. Candace Bergan's husband Louise Malle directed this one. I now have a top 3 of foreign films, and these two are both on there, the third one being a Danish film titled "Day of Wrath" directed by Carl Theodor Dreyer, made in 1943. I've seen that movie about 5 or 6 times and it captivates me every time. All highly recommended.

I also watched for the second time a fabulous English/Canadian John Boorman movie made in 1987 but set in WWII titled "Hope and Glory". May I just say this movie has gotten better the second time around? Such interesting and dimensional characters. And the setting, during the war, along with the story, is very realistic.

AMC has a new series that's started up called "Mad Men" that has me interested, but already I am a bit turned off by all the constant sex everyone is having, in the late 1950's. I don't believe for a minute that it's authentic to the culture then as a whole. Now, I'd just like to say that I researched the show's website and to their credit they only attest that it accurately depicts the NYC advertising industry then. However, this show is attracting young adult viewers and I suspect a lot of them are going to assume that the entire country was behaving that way back then, which wasn't true. Oh, there was unmarried sex going on, all right. Just not like a Roman orgy all the time.

Anyway, I thought maybe I could find some objective hirstorian opinion on it, but was too lazy to get up and go to the library. So I pulled David Halberstam's "The Fifties" off my bookshelf and have begun to try reading it again. It's going to be quite a while until I can know if it has anything in there that can help me concerning the TV show, as the book is a monstrous 800 pages, but I'm finding it an interesting read. Now for some related trivia: I'd forgotten how I'd come to own the book, until I opened it and out fell a typed letter from 1993 to my dad from Random House Publishing in NYC congratulating him for winning some kind of quiz contest. The book was his prize and check it out: it's a signed copy by Halberstam. My dad always gives away a book after he has read it, unless it's a play or movie reference book. Since Halberstam died last weekend, I thought about trying to sell it on ebay, but decided to read it first. It was gently used before I touched it so my read won't worsen that. Who knows, I might want to keep it. I'll decide after reading it. I just thought that was cool how it came into my possession.